Earlier, I shared about the fear of losing certain things and how that fear-usually culturally imposed- causes us to become attached to people, things or places.
In this post, I will share some of my stories from different times in my life.
In high school. It was the fear of deadline(get into college quickly, and don’t miss the admission offer) that got me into college to study a degree I never wanted. I was attached to outcomes- fearing that I may never get into college early enough.
In college. It was the fear of not losing my elections( once contested for SUG elections) that got me attached to an ex.
In a Relationship. It was the fear of not being shamed for being a foolish virgin, who lost her virginity to someone who never married her, that made me attached to an ex and hurriedly settle down with him. It was a culturally imposed deadline-marry him, else he will run away. “marriage makes men commit.” All bullshit lies!
In marriage. It was the fear that I had to make this work because if I did, it would mean that I had succeeded where my mom had failed- as a single mom. I was attached to the idea of not “happily ever after” in a relationship founded on a lie from the start!
In parenting. I always feared separation from my kids. I never had a present dad; my mom was physically present but not emotionally. So, I was very attached to my kids, and would become “overprotective of them when they made mistakes.” But, who can imagine that, more than two years now, the same kids I feared would be taken away from me? I can’t even feel their skin- cut their nails-brush their teeth- or even comb their hair!
Read my next publication for the other case studies from my personal life.
I really want you to break the cycle of cultural expectations, which is the primary basis for your attachment to things, people or places.
Preorder The Broken Child, Broken Adult book for your healing.
As a business leader or a leader in any other capacity, you need to heal! Think about the possibilities that await your company when you heal.
ideyforyou,
Bisola-Mariam