The Narcisistic caregiver...
From the book and journal, Broken Child, Broken Adult.
Abundance tribe,
This is episode 33…
I assume you are now familiar with Echo and Narcissus, two characters, representing two personality types. Echo being the codependent. Narcissus being the Narcissist. I will tell you these two people are made.
○How is a Narcissist made?
○ How is a codependent made?
Parenting! Actually, this parenting can come from anyone who plays the caregiver role in the life of a child.
This caregiver can be a father, mother, an uncle, or other family members. Every child always has a caregiver. Even a child without parents. So, if a child is raised by a Narcissistic caregiver, the child can become a Narc. Also, if a child is raised by a codependent caregiver, the child can still be Narcissistic. Let me explain further.
A kind caregiver may end up raising a child to become Narcissistic if the parent tolerates the child's excesses, doesn't set clear boundaries, the child can become entitled.
Also, if a parent or caregiver becomes too hard on a child, the child can become Narcissistic too. When a caregiver sets very high expectations for a child to meet, and failure to meet that expectation, means the child is useless, the child may become egoistic.
The child grows up and begin to see the world as a place where his ego has to be nurtured. Quite frankly, the Narcisistic child seeks to constantly feed this ego, and anything that stands in the way of feeding this ego, enrages the inner child.
An example. You serve a Narcissistic child food, and unfortunately, the food spills, he has to blame someone or something. The child does not take responsibility for his mistakes.
Why is this so?
This is so, because the Narc. caregiver will never tolerate the child's mistakes, including spilling food. So the Narc. child has to give excuses to placate the caregiver.
In another case, the Narc. child may have an understanding caregiver, but the child may still be irrasicible because the codependent caregiver does not set boundaries.
Here's the activity you can do:
Were you raised by a narcissistic caregiver or a codependent caregiver?
Here's an hint.
A Narc. caregiver will never tolerate the mistakes you make as a child. Such caregiver will constantly show you how better others are, and why you should do better.
A codependent caregiver is the understanding parent who pampers a child.
Remember this activity is to help you reflect on your childhood. It is important you do this as you move on to other tasks in this selfcare journal.
Here is a video and audio that captures everything I have shared.
Watch here:
Listen here: https://anchor.fm/bisola-mariam/episodes/The-making-of-a-narc--and-codependent-e1ifdu2
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