He ignored...
Dear abundance tribe, today is day 6 of my 60 day-series, and I am sharing another excerpt from my book.
“10 years later, the cycle was completed. He came to complete the cycle. From that day, we continued to see. The passion was intense. He always called. He always bought me gifts. I had learned to keep such secrets from my mother. She was never even present. I did not feel the need to tell her.
***
My elections were getting close. People now knew we were close.
***
The news about our interaction made the news in school. People even said he had initiated me into a cult, as they could not explain why I could not let go of him. Maybe it was not the kind of cult they were thinking of, but I had been initiated into another cult. It was the breaking of the hymen. A cult of women who now knew what penetration felt like. It was indeed a cult.
***
The fate of my election changed rapidly. I could not say no to our relationship, even though my election was bound to suffer. I could not let go of the relationship. My womanhood had been taken. I was sure that my election was doomed. I lost. Everyone said I lost for one reason. That I lost because of him. Because all the ladies he had dated on campus saw my election as a way of getting back at him. For having them, and never marrying them. For fucking them all! Some said he fucked them in his flashy cars. This was exactly how I heard it. I lost that election. But something happened afterward.”
I remembered he sent me these messages. In one of them, he was cursing me. In another, he acted like nothing was happening.
Lesson 1: So, the cycle of abuse is a threat, followed by love, threat, followed by abuse, followed by invalidation. The vicious cycle continues.
Lesson 2: An abuser will ignore your feelings, minimize your experiences, or confuse you with validation and you may begin to minimize your experiences.
Lesson 3: They will ignore. You must never ignore. Do not neglect your own feelings.
I attached below a conversation from 2020 and a conversation from 2021.
Today, I wish to teach you about sexual abuse. I recorded a YouTube video and Podcast on that.
Watch here:
Listen here: https://anchor.fm/bisola-mariam/episodes/What-is-neglect-e1fsrj8
Announcements
1. I am planning to launch my book on my birthday, May 31. I will need your help. My plan is to publish 10,000 copies of my book and have them donated for free at strategic locations across African campuses, maternity centers, religious centers, and other strategic places, and American institutions, where African students are mostly found.
I need your help in making this a reality. Think about the number of people who are yet to recognize the pattern of abuse in their lineage, and are suffering silently.
We need more people to speak up.
Education is that tool.
Join me today, by going to www.bisolamariam.com/becomingbm to donate to support my book launch party/birthday.
Lives need to be saved!