He weaponized our children...
No one has to suffer this...
Today’s story hurts me deeply as a mother. This is because I have not been able to speak to my children since I told him I was done. I am sharing this today, hoping that someone who knows an unbiased judge in Ibadan will hear my case and grant me a divorce and full custody of our children.
This is because the judge who heard our case the first time (even though she is a woman), will not rule in my favor. In fact, she was telling me to stay in the marriage.
I am sharing an excerpt from my book below, How to Kill Your Spouse, which you can preoder on Amazon. Go through www.ideyforyou.com/bcba
I told him in a shaky voice: “I am done with this marriage. I want a divorce.” He interrupted me sharply: “Bisola, you want to divorce me?” He kept screaming this in the presence of the children. I interrupted him sharply and asked if we could have this conversation in a private place. I kept lamenting. I was no longer hearing his voice. It was the voice of the children I was hearing. I kept asking< “Are you there” “Can you hear me”. It was another voice: “Mummy, do you want to leave our daddy?” Hearing those words broke me. I thought we were having a private conversation. I thought it was just two adults, having this conversation. I did not know he had the children listening to us. I did not know he was weaponizing the children. I have always heard that when couples are separating, children are often weaponized. I did not know how bad it was going to get.
After that phone call, I broke down in tears. I was worried about what he had been telling the children about me. I was worried about what the children would think of me. I was sooooo worried. Since the day I voiced my stand, it had been a struggle to talk to our kids. Every time I called him, he would tell me the children were sleeping, and I could not talk to them. But he did not stop cursing me every time I called. He did not stop the gaslighting. He did not stop. He started making the children send me voice notes, in a bid to break me.
I remember he made our children send the voice notes here.
https://anchor.fm/bisola-mariam/episodes/Weaponizing-minors-e1h2luk
Days became weeks. Weeks turned into months. I was losing my mind. I could not imagine not having access to my kids. To also think that he was speaking terribly about me to the children. Just imagine the messages here:
Today, I made a video and Podcast, describing another family dysfunction.
Watch here:
Listen here: https://anchor.fm/bisola-mariam/episodes/Family-Dysfunction-III-e1fsup8
I have no idea what you have had to deal with, or what you are currently dealing with, but one thing I know is that to move on in life, you need clarity. Get the clarity of vision here, and if you regret it, we will refund you in full.
I am so excited about my birthday, as I look back at my life a year after, I have been truly blessed. Celebrate with me!
As I clock 30, I will be hosting 30 friends in Chicago and would love for you to attend. If you can’t attend, you can also give towards my event. When you do, you allow us to fundraise for the ideyforyou global tour.
I hope you find these stories touching, but don’t stop there, please share.
Talk soon.
Your Queen,
BM.