Desperation never does anything right.
Earlier today, I was presented an opportunity to make a desperate decision, and I said no.
I refused the opportunity, because I was reminded yet again, how for everything I have ever tried to do out of desperation, always ended up failing…
And it also made me think about this story I am sharing with you.
When I could not hold back the sudden rush of emotion, from seeing my friend’s Facebook post, I began to apply.
I lost touch with my University of Ibadan’s graduate school friend, that I began my application in a frenzy.
I began to dig and discovered many schools in the UK that did not require application fees.
I got into several schools. I did not know there was a difference between getting admitted and getting scholarships or other kinds of funding to pursue that academic plan.
When I lost touch with my uni friend, I was all alone. I also felt too proud to contact my friend, who had made the Facebook post to get her insights.
I got into several UK schools, but never got funded.
I was frustrated.
I would stay awake at night, thinking that would make my stress less stressful. But that never happened.
I joined several email lists.
I joined several scholarship Facebook groups.
And gradually, I was drawn into this dark and lonely hole.
I was not seeing clearly, and I began to make irrational decisions.
I could not spot red flags or phishing links.
In my ignorance, I found a Facebook group, where there was a post that looked real.
It says that an Harvard professor was looking for graduate students to work with, so I applied. I submitted all documents.
Everything was looking real, and I was asked to make a payment of $100 at a bank.
In fact, I had raised the money, and was going to make the payment.
But somehow, I delayed the payment.
I soon realized everything was fake, and I was not the only one in that scholarship seekers community, who had received the link, or was asked to pay some fees.
What was I thinking? Why was I so proud, that I never asked for help?
Was it shame?
Was it fear?
Was it the fact that I felt stuck, confused, and unhappy?
I can’t describe my emotions in detail, but something was clear: I lacked knowledge, and I was too timid, proud, frustrated, and sad, that I could not see past my feelings, and gravitate towards the help in front of me.
When I continued to get stuck, I knew I had to change my strategies.
So, I did something. I will tell you later.
If you can’t see past your feelings, you can’t ask for help. You will remain stuck, and your life will never change.
Ask someone who is more knowledgeable.
There is strength in seeking help.
You are the reason the life coaching community is relaunching on Telegram.
Join us here.
If you are on Whatsapp, reconnect/connect with me. You could use some inspiration on my WhatsApp status, lol.
PS: This picture reminds me of how far I have come, despite my many bad traumatic experiences while migrating to the 🇺🇸😀.
PPS: Now, what did you learn today? 😀
Leave a comment.
And in my next post, I will tell you how I discovered a friend who showed me the entire application process. 😊
Yours,
BM Writing for ideyforyou.