How to overcome intergenerational trauma Part 2
📍HOW TO OVERCOME INTERGERGENERATIONAL TRAUMA Part 2
So, if you read my earlier piece, here is a full hug for you 🤗 🤗!
Let’s talk about how parents and caregivers traumatize their children.
#Parents or caregivers suffer trauma, as a result of their hurts, and many parents hurt their children, as a result of their unhealed wounds.
Let’s consider some scenarios.
Specifically the kinds of #communicative practices that expose #children to #trauma.
📍You are the reason my life is hopeless.
Many parents unconsciously hurt their children when they repeat this famous line, especially when angry.
When parents make statements like this, they make the child(ren) feel guilty and responsible for their trauma(s).
Let’s face it, that child was never there when you agreed to marry that #abusive partner, and I do not also insinuate that you are to #be blamed for making a wrong choice in choosing that #partner.
Maybe your trauma comes from being #raped and having to become the parent you never planned to become, but it is still not enough ground to blame that child!
📍I wish I never had you. My life would have been better without you.
As a young teenager, I actually lost count of the number of times I heard this from my mother, who ignorantly would say to me, and my siblings that she would have had a better life if she didn’t have to raise us.
As a matter of fact, now that we are older, we remind her, how those words made us feel. Like we joke about it on our family group now. 😂😀.
Quite frankly, she was really overreacting back then, because she really did not mean those words.
She also had no idea, the damage those words were doing to us.
Again, how are you hurting your child(ren)?
The fastest way to pass on trauma, from one generation to another, is to truama dumb- which is most visible in poor communication techniques.
📍Something to think about.
Is it possible to place an arrest on or charge someone for a crime that was never committed?
Your guess is as good as mine.
So, why blame that child, or anyone else in your life (now or in the future) for the #traumas they knew nothing about?
In the mean time, what did you learn?