I am a first daughter whose first intimate partner was a first son...
I am a first daughter whose first intimate partner was a first son...
Who was the narc or the codependent? Read...
If you never read my divorce story, I am giving you another reason to read it here.
This article is not about my divorce story, but you reading it, will give you more context to my lived experience, and why I am very passionate about making sure you do it differently.
I was raised to not speak for myself, look out for others, and make sure to put the needs of others before mine.
This is what happens to you, if you are a first co-dependent daughter.
I continued to show up this way in my friendships, and in no time, I became so caught up with this personality type that when I met an ex, I always gave excuses for every red flag I saw.
This person put his needs ahead every time, but I was too blind to see it. From the choice of the wedding venue and dress to who could be the ring bearer or the little bride, among many other things, this person made all the decisions.
I was not aware to pay attention to these things.
Yes, these are the smallest things in a relationship, but if you don’t pay attention to the little things and know where to set the boundaries, you will keep attracting people who will take you for granted or those whose shit you would have to deal with.
This pattern is dangerous because you end up being with someone who makes you feel small or muted, and you bottle up your emotions.
When you are the codependent, you suck up everything, and when your partner is the narc, he/she/they spill out everything, and you will always have to explain yourself.
It is not a healthy place to be. I am wondering if you can relate to this?
On April 31st, the preorder of the healing book ends. Take action to get the review copy for only $10.
Check it out at www.ideyforyou.com/bcba
Check it out at www.ideyforyou.com/bcba
Check it out at www.ideyforyou.com/bcba
If you prefer a private healing program, we created the executive therapy for CEOS and founders. Get it here.
ideyforyou,
Bisola-Mariam (Or BM).
