The codependent caregiver
From the book and journal, "Broken child, broken adult."
Abundance tribe,
I continue a new series from my self care journal. My second book.
Broken child, Broken Adult...
The codependent caregiver...
The codependent caregiver is the parent or caregiver, who does not set boundaries. Two things about a codependent caregiver. One is, they may feel that allowing a child to behave in a way that is intolerable is the way they can receive love from their child.
Think about it this, if a codependent caregiver is a single parent for instance, they may think that not setting proper rules for the child, would make them a terrible parent, which may make the child/children desist from loving them. Single parenting becomes the void. It can be fear of desertion. It can even be because the child is male.
Remember that the codependent caregiver /parent has a void. There is some emptiness in the codependent caregiver/parent. The void that they think being overly loving and accommodating will help them to fill. This is never going to happen. It is even worse when the codependent parent is an empath.
If the first caregiver in a child's life is a codependent , two things can happen. One, the codependent caregiver may create in the child, another codependent, who lacks boundaries and has a savior syndrome. Two, the codependent caregiver may create in the child, another Narcissist, who becomes entitled.
Now there is a problem. The codependent caregiver creates another codependent, but most cases they create Narcissistic children.
Children who lack empathy and who would go to any length to get what they want, and nothing less.
[Now this is the bigger problem. The codependent caregiver who ends up creating a Narcissistic child, the entitled one, leaves the child with a kind of mentality.
A mentality that determines how that one (he/she/they/them) Narcissistic child shows up in the world.
This becomes a colossal problem when in an intimate relationship, the Narcisistic partner, begins to display the attachment style that was present in childhood, with the first caregiver.
Activity for today:
Think about how you show up everyday.
What is your relationship with people?
Who are you when in relationships with people? What kind of people are you in relationships with ?
Who are you attracting?
Hint: Most times, Narcissistic people attract codependents.
Now, pay attention, when I say relationship, I refer to any, including friendship.
I recorded a YouTube video and a Podcast here.
Watch here:
Listen here: https://anchor.fm/bisola-mariam/episodes/The-making-of-a-narc--and-codependent-e1ifdu2
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