Two caregivers, two personality types...
From the journal, Broken Child, Broken Adult.
Today is day 35 of my 60 days series.
Broken Child, Broken Adult.
The other kind of doubleganger caregiver.
Living with two different caregivers...
You made it to day 5 of your self-care journal. You are a genius 👏🏿.
Today, here is something I want you to think about. It is the idea that it is possible for you to have two parents. Two parents who are completely different.
Two people who play the caregiver role in your life, but who do not care for you the same way. Two people who play the caregiver role in your life, but who do not parent you the same way.
In order words, one of the two primary caregivers may be Narcissistic, while the other, is a codependent. One of the two caregivers may lack empathy and be totally unaccomodating, while the other parent is accommodating and empathetic-and to a fault!
Think about your caregivers, if you happen to have had two as a child. It is possible that you were raised by two people who were not the same in many ways. While you may have had a kind father, but a very mean mother. These two caregivers have a role in how you now show up in relationships with people.
It is possible you take a doubleganger personality as a result of this dynamic from your childhood. For instance, if you had a very great mom, and a not so kind pop, you may now have a combination of their personalities.
But genetically speaking, you can't inherit their personalities in equal measure. You most likely will take on more of the narcissistic dad/mom, or more of the codependent mom/dad.
That is why it is possible for you to be in a relationship with someone who displays some very good qualities that he picked from his mother, but may also be generally mean.
Let me give you scenarios.
A partner show up as a great dad, because he took the provider characteristic from his dad. The same partner may show up as a great cook, and even helps with chores at home. However, the same partner may be very aggressive.
The same partner may use curse words at the slightest provocation. The same partner may lack sexual discipline.
The caring nature may be a quality from the codependent caregiver. The sexual indiscipline may be a quality from the Narcissistic caregiver. Since this child lived with these two people with different personalities, it is certain that qualities from both of them will be transferred to the child.
Does this make sense?
Do this activity today.
Activity #5.
Who was my caregiver I?
Who was my caregiver II?
Who was the kind one?
Who was the mean one?
Do I have more of the narc caregiver in me or more of the codependent caregiver in me?
I made a Video and Podcast today.
Watch here:
Listen here: https://anchor.fm/bisola-mariam/episodes/Two-caregivers--two-personalities-e1igoot
I am excited about my book launch.
Please visit www.bisolamariam.com/becomingbm to RSVP
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Your friend,
Queen Bisola-Mariam.