“Bisola, why will you risk your life, jump on Okada, only to volunteer for a program?”
“Bisola, why are you so stubborn, your mates are sitting at home, and you are running around planning event to empower vulnerable people?”
“Bisola, you should be so ashamed of yourself for putting yourself out there and all in the name of speaking against domestic violence!”
“Bisola, why would you share so much about you publicly on TV? Why can’t be moderate about your comments?”
“Bisola, why would you write a book that exposes your marriage? Are you not thinking about how this would haunt you? Don’t you think that people would use that to blackmail your kids when they grow up?”
I have gotten nothing but shaming, curses or criticisms from folks who think I am doing TOO MUCH for standing in the gap for survivors of domestic violence.
But every time people shout me down, I tell myself “BM, you could have died for everything the abuser did to you, so why don’t you die for this cause even if this what will take your life? At least you will be dying for a good cause and you will die in peace knowing you fought for DV survivors.
Hilda Baci would have had many thoughts in her head.
“Hilda, are you the first cook? Are you the only woman? Why do you have to do this? What if die? You will never be able to raise a family? What is wrong with you? Does it have to be you?”
But guess what, this Queen did the shit!
She stood for something.
It might never make sense to you all or even myself, writing this article, but it did make sense to her.
That is the entire essence of a vision.
A vision is given to only one person.
That is how I see things, when I think about the ideyforyou global tour which kicks off this year.
Learn more about it here at LINKTREE.COM/IDEYFORYOUGLOBALTOUR
You see, Hilda had a vision but she didn’t leave it in her head. She took actions and the universe listened to her.
I FIND THAT VISIONARY PEOPLE HAVE CERTAIN THINGS IN COMMON.
I will share some of those tips that build up a visionary and hope you find one of them useful.
1. Clarity of vision. If you don’t have a clear vision, you will run from the outside in, instead of running from the inside out. I created a $1 program called Clarity of Vision or COV. Get it here. Selar.co/COV
2. Goal setting. Yes, things don’t just happen. You got to plan. And it means taking specific actions. I explained how this works and especially how maximizing each 24 hours can take you closer to your goal. Check the COV program for $1 at Selar.co/COV
3. Discipline. Once you set goals, you need discipline. Discipline is what tells you to study when others are Netflixing. It is the discipline that tells you to turn off your phone when others are busy checking new trends. Because if you don’t feed your goal, who will? Hilda for one is a disciplined young woman. Can you run a business in Lagos if you are not disciplined? Huh?
Huh? Who will???
4. Working out 🏋🏾♀️. Yes, Hilda crushed her goal because she did some hard work in the gym. She trained her body. She trained her mind. If there is something that has helped me to keep a positive outlook, it is my working out!
Sacrifice. Hilda sacrificed her health, her comfort, and many things to do this. In fact, she could simply stay in her cooking business and not do this and still sell. But she moved out of her comfort zone to do this.
I sacrificed 10-year-old relationships for my freedom. To be able to live my life fully and unapologetically. I sacrificed a Ph.D. program to chase my vision of becoming a world-class researcher working at the intersection of law and social work. I sacrificed my job with a DV agency in Chicago to work full-time at ideyforyou, the life coaching company I started last Summer.
I pay the price for my choices. I miss my kids, for one, I am not in a Ph.D. program like my mates who are already professors, lol. I don’t have the stability that comes with working for an American employer anymore, lol.
But I am joyful and I feel deeply fulfilled by my choices.
Hilda possibly survived many setbacks before this one-day event- and for her to have come this far, she trained for it.
Hilda has crushed one of her goals.
What will you crush before 2023 ends?
Will you remain a cheerleader or a page setter?
What’s it gonna be?
Get the clarity of vision program here.
Huh?
Tell me, I wanna read from you.
Your Queen,
BM
If this inspires you, don’t be selfish. Share it on your Whatsapp status.