Why do some of us put others before us?
Day 40...
We have cone this far!!!
I thought to share with you, a personal story, as I continue with this self care series.
How does a narc. and codependent respond?
In the month of April, I made an important trip, and needed a place to stay. I was reluctant to ask for help.
However, I find it very easy to accommodate people if they ask. My response is to rescue others, but to shrink when I need help. One way to tell someone is codependent is that they most often don't know how to ask.
They always feel they are undeserving of anything.
Now, when I arrived at this, I got to my host place but it wasn't as comfortable as I wanted. In fact, I spent a lot of money to transport myself to where they lived.
The logical thing would be that I tell them I would move into an hotel closer to the place I was attending an event in the city. But guess what I thought?
How will they feel if I leave. That is another sign of a codependent.
The last scenario I want to share is how an empath who has codependent traits runs business. They aren't very shrewd, and often put others first without realizing it, even at the detriment of their businesses.
An example:
I work with vendors back in Africa for my business. I always tell myself that it is important to support local brands at home. But here's the crux. Some of the vendors I have worked with in the past were often selfish. In fact, some of them would bill me because I earn in foreign currency.
I remembered spending alot of money for a certain transaction to go through, but the vendor was Narcissistic. Selfish and carefree. It didn't matter that I had shipped items worth of $500 through the company, the default response from this fellow was that I was lording my social status on him/her.
Last example. When people send me messages, I always feel compelled to respond, because I always feel it's unfair to keep them waiting...That is a clear lack of boundary. It is the default of a codependent.
Everything I did in these stories, are the opposite of what a narc. will do. They never meet in the middle or compromise, except there is something in it for them.
Let me conclude that being a codependent and an empath may make people take advantage of you, but it makes you win friends quickly and influence people. You are able to build a loyal tribe.
A community of people. In this community, you will find the selfless and the selfish ones. Now, am not teaching you to be selfish, but I am teaching you to still be kind, be a loyal friend , but let self preservation guide you. Set necessary boundaries.
Don't hold back if you are in position to help a narc.but don't also think they will repay you. Do what you can, expecting nothing, so you're not hurt.
My book unveiling is on May 31st. Please RSVP as my guest here.
Go to www.bisolamariam.com/becomingbm
In the next series, I will share 10 signs you are in love with a narcissist . That series ends at day 50.
In the last 10 days of this series, which will run after my birthday, I will share about how winning a scholarship to study abroad, became my *asylum*.
Before that series begins, you would have seen my big birthday announcements!!!
Here are the things I will share, and no longer share here, after my birthday and the announcement of my new roles. 👉🏾👉🏾👉🏾
I will share here are:
My daily affirmations, an excerpt from a book am reading to help you set the mood for your day.
I have achieved my aim with the daily healing journal and would desist from posting that here. I will do so privately henceforth.
Finally, I will continue clarity in seconds. A daily video in seconds.
I will announce offers using my email list, and will share that link with you all here, should you want to take the offer.
Abundance is here.
As I enter phase 30, I enter a time of effortless increase and doing less to attract more would be my mantra, and it starts by posting less too.🤗😁🙏🏾
I am collecting birthday wishes.
If you have followed these series so far, and you have questions to ask, testimonies to share, or simply have something to share with me as I celebrate my birthday.
Option 1
Click here to write :
https://forms.gle/hUBdr1Xv9p72S7xNA
Or send a video birthday wish, to be streamed at my book launch.
Send video review to my 🇺🇸 US line.👇🏾
+12058876496(Whatsapp).