Why I contested for a student election at UA.
You need to read this carefully, so it makes sense to you.
Abundance tribe, I wanted to quickly share this important post with you all, before other tasks make it difficult to do so.
I got my admission offer as well as scholarship from Crown Family School since March of 2022.
In fact, I travelled by air to Chicago in April to attend the admitted students day. It was while I was at Chicago, that I received the ASA newsletter that people could nominate themselves for positions.
So, I sat down and asked if I wanted to be in the race. At that time, I had received an offer at UA as well.
I prefer Crown to staying in C&IS, because the former aligns better with my future goals to serve victims of DV as a clinical social worker.
But I also wanted some changes in the students organization at UA, which won’t happen if I disn’t put myself out there.
I decided to contest for the following reasons.
To ensure that godfatherism/motherism is nipped in the bud. I had asked some people whom I knew had the association’s interest at heart to contest, but they were afraid to challenge some “power brokers”.
I wanted to challenge a friend. I once had a conversation about the association with this person and how I saw potential to lead in certain members. This person interrupted sharply saying those people I pointed were not fit to lead the association. My question was “why can’t they lead?”. This friend said because they weren't capable. I added that capability isn’t measured by popularity.
So I knew I had to put myself out there, especially because I had to call the bluff of this person who was looking down on other people who weren't popular. Since I was quite popular, I had to put myself out with the hope to restore order.
I also contested to end polarization in the association. It was clear that the association was now being Nigerianized. I also knew that with my training as a social inclusion advocate, I could carry everyone along.
I had some other personal reasons for contesting. One of which was to see how far people were willing to go to support me. Some people were spreading rumors about me, and coming out was to actually tell if people hated me or not, as I was being made to believe.
I also had a strong feeling that my being in the race was going to threaten some people and make them play dirty. I wanted to see the extent these folks were willing to go. Actually they did play dirty. Just as narcs., they could not withstand someone challenging them, they had to use power, victimhood, flying monkeys and even people-especially women like me, who didn’t even realize they were being used.
For instance, when endorsement of candidates were done, those endorsing were women like me. That was a strategic act. Those women who were used were not even students of UA, and disn’t even serve in the same administration as the person they were endorsing. Nut they were “used”. All used!
Now, that is symbolic for all the endorsements to have come from women, to weaken the only woman presidential candidate in the race. How strategic?
Here’s the part that is also unfortunate. The electoral officer, who came to challenge me after I called the integrity of the body, was a “woman”. Very strategic!
The person who also presided over the appeal court was a woman too. Absolutely strategic!
And you know what? All these women were used to do the bidding of a patriarchal structure. The very one we all pay lip service to calling out.
This is not a structure that is even fair, just and inclusive, because I have seen sane partriachal systems.
Yet, we all are here, creating the same political structure we claim we hate in Africa. A structure of injustice and unfairness. Many remained silent even after I was unjustly removed from the group.
My being removed isn't the problem. But our silence goes to show that when someone challenges a WRONG system again, you will keep quiet.
The question is what will you do differently?
You and I engender abuse, violence and injustice because we remain silent and look away! Isn't that what we hate in Africa? We have been removed from our countries, but should it be said that our countries haven't been removed from us?
***
I remember when the conversations on the group about the integrity of the elections began, all the people who joined the conversation to defend the leadership were all WOMEN!
The men kept quiet. It was strategic friend.
It was clear what the game was. The men who were playing the game solidarized with each other. But the women who should stand by the side of another woman- who had the association’s interest, never did. In fact, one of the reasons I chose to run was because a woman who could lead was intimidated by a certain candidate, and I had to put myself out because I couldn’t take that insult on my gender.
If I had won, was I going to stay?
The answer is NO. I wasn’t going to stay.
However, I could have achieved alot before my relocation to Chicago.
Some of the things I was planning to do were things that could be well implemented in the Summer(which is completely free for me).
I had done my due diligence before I released my 5 point agenda and summer was a good time to lay those strong foundations.
The other plan was to also see to the review of the constitution and make room for other ways of appointing officials without vindictive politics.
What can you do as a membership of the association?
If you are reading this, and you believe in the future of my 5 point agenda, do not be silent. Remain in the association. Get involved. The current leadership only has one year to be in office. So, there is hope and that hope can only be given a chance if you get involved.
The selfish interests of a few people certainly can't stand the just ambitions of the association.
What you do in this small association, even if you now moving to another city, school or place, or you are still here in UA, is important. Do not give up on the possibilities that things will become better, and that the association will be rid of injustice.
***
As I conclude this post, I wish to share some important lessons and take aways. These are lessons from what I learned in Truth Default Theory. This deception theory led me to carrying out some experiments during the elections.
The Truth Default Theory explains that people are generally Truth biased. Which implies that people believe whatever you tell them. I also hinted on this experiment on page 152 of my book.
So people believe what you tell them, expect there's a trigger that causes them to believe otherwise. This is a weapon that narcissistic people use so well! They say things to you, with the intention to manipulate. They use lies and deception, abusive behaviors to get what they want.
The electoral process was not “free and fair” but we were made to believe it was well organized. Here’s how they used Truth Default Theory(TDT). They told us there was an electoral committe that was working to ensure a free and fair process. Guess what? People believed.
Why did we believe them?
They publish a list of officials and made it look as though these officials were the ones conducting the elections. That was Truth default at work: we believed what we were told. But who was presiding over the elections?
At least going by the response to my petition, which was released on Mysource, you can fill in the gap. Right? You should go read it there if you have not.
2. When I told everyone I got accepted to UA, and published my offer letter during the election, they all believed. Was it a lie that I had been offered admission? No. But people filled in the rest of the information themselves and assumed that I was staying. The offer letter meant to them that I was staying. But I was going to stay to only restore order, and when I choose to leave, I was going to follow constitution and make necessary changes. What I did hear was to use TDT to achieve a good aim.
People are often inclined to believe what they hear or see. People have challenged me because they think everything was okay with my ex and I. In fact, someone said you took pictures together at the embassy when you were moving here. People think that way because of TDT. We think that what we see or hear are the truth. But I urge you to begin to ask questions, and challenge what you see, read or hear including your faith in who God is.
We have all been told God is a He. But if am a woman, why can't God be a she to me? Sorry, I changed the topic. Lol.
Don't believe all you hear. Think! Use your head! Ask questions.
Many have had terrible notion of who I am until they had the chance to experience me.
People doubted if I was really in a hellish marriage until they began to read my story.
I urge you not to doubt victims, even if you don’t know their truth.
If you train yourself to learn not to believe everything you hear, you offer yourself the chance to rethink what you believe about domestic violence and victims such experiences. Our default is to doubt them, rethink your default today.
Rethink your default about life. About everything. About people. About religion. About prosperity. About everything!!
Know TDT and use it for social good.
Does this post make sense to you?
Leave some comments. Let’s engage.
Your friend,
Queen BM.